The Old Poodle Saga

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, he discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here."

On hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike. A look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. The old poodle sees the monkey heading after the leopard, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans, and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, "Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of the story... Don't mess with old farts. Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience......

Allan Ng wrote (18 August 2007, 1002 hours):

You didn't hear the end of the story yet.

The leopard ate both the monkey and the poodle but was shot by the old lady. And it's magnificent skin was displayed on her mansion wall, except for the two holes, where its sensitive parts were blown off.

The moral of the story... Don't monkey with a poodle and don't poodle with a monkey.

But most important of all, don't tickle an old lady, especially from behind, or you'll lose your b.....in the explosion.

Mike Chan (who just turned 65!) wrote (18 August 2007, 1126 hours):

What's your definition of an old lady? 65 and above? 70 and above? Age is extremely sensitive in our society.... dunno why. There are many matured ladies amongst us, so always specify the age when you talk about an old lady. Cheers and see you guys + + at the Indian Kitchen on Thursday 30 August.

Allan Ng wrote (18 August 2007, 2210 hours):

The definition of an old lady is a lady who feels old. It doesn't matter what her age is. Likewise for the guys too. Are you old?

Mike Chan (who just turned 65!) wrote (19 August 2007, 0846 hours):

If that be the case, why did Leslie begin his story "A wealthy old lady....." and you verified that this person is an old lady in your continuation of the said story?

Did she actually tell both of you that she "feels" old and can therefore be called "old" by you two? Logically, how can a wealthy lady go for a safari in Africa if she is "old" as defined by you? She's probably a spinster or a widow but with loads of cash....and you guys simply assumed she's an OLD lady! I won't be surprised she's actually young and may be just in her 40s or early 50s!

As to your personal question for me "Are you old?"..... I'm chronologically old but biologically young at 65. Everyone I meet tells me I look 10-15 years younger, starting in 1995 with Zuraidah Ibrahim, the ST political editor, whom I met in William's College USA. (I also met Dr Ong Yong Yau there.)

Recommend you read "Secrets of the SuperYoung" by Dr David Weeks.....the scientific reasons some people look 10 years younger than they really are....

Cheers to all.....go for fortnightly facials and daily fast walks and dun sweat the small stuff!

Oliver Hennedige wrote (22 August 2007, 1702 hours):

The cliché about a woman is as old as she looks and a man as old as he feels still holds true. However, things do get a bit fuzzy with chronological age kicking in. In this day and age could it be the other way round!

Anyway I do agree with Allan never tickle any lady not just old ladies especially from behind, if you do not have good insurance coverage for your family’s treasure.

Mike Chan wrote (26 August 2007, 0920 hours):

Sorry, but I really didn't know that ladies would use one of their legs to kick your "family treasures" should you tickle them from behind? My belated response is because, being naive especially in such sexual matters, I didn't know what you meant by "family treasures" until our very experienced Percy the young chick enlightened me yesterday.

Reminds me of my traumatic exp back in 1980 when I went to a horse-farm in Melbourne to ride a horse. The farm hand brought me to my horse, an old hag named Elvis, and stupidly I approached her from behind and patted her rear just above her tail. She kicked me with her left hind leg but luckily did not get my vulnerable spot but got my left thigh instead, felling me instantly. There was an ugly bruise and the worried farm manager drove me to a nearby hospital for an x-ray and some pain-medication. Luckily the mare was very old and her kick did not fracture my thigh bone (femur). The manager not only refunded my riding charge but drove me back to my cousin's home, where I was staying, in Glen Waverly. He was cussing the farm hand all the way and said he will sack him for not warning me not to touch Elvis from behind.

So my question to you: Do ladies nowadays react like fillies (young) or mares (aged) when tickled from behind?

Sorry, CTL, forum editor, looks like this story is a never-ending one.

Cheers to all and looking forward to seeing you guys/dolls this Thursday for the great curry lunch at Tekka.